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1.6.13 v 20:52:
(vy/liz) V Istanbulu propukly bujaré oslavy plzeňského titulu. Podle všeho se jedná o gentlemanskou reakci na vítězný duel místního Fenerbahce s Viktorií v letošním poháru UEFA.

4.3.13 v 14:31:
Česká štafeta na 16 x 401,2 metrů překážek si odváží z halového mistrovství Evropy v obstrukcích několik třetích a čtvrtých míst a jednu diskvalifikaci, když český atlet Sadlák obvinil hlavního rozhodčího, že je kolík.(skol)

16.2.13 v 19:05:
Prezident Václav Klaus se dnes v Novém městě na Moravě zúčastnil světového šampionátu v nemelodickém pískání. Diváci na jeho přítomnost nadšeně reagovali spontánním během na lyžích. Druhou složku biatlonu naštěstí vynechali.

14.2.13 v 18:53:
Editor zpravodajství televize NOVA Roman Pistorius zastřelil omylem v noci na dnešek ve své luxusní vile na předměstí Pretorie Svatého Valentýna. Spletl si ho údajně se svou dlouhodobou manželkou. Svaz bulvárních novinářů se k věci zatím nevyjádřil, vyjádřil pouze soustrast katolické církvi. Rumunská Rada pro rozhlasové a televizní vysílání zvažuje odebrání licence České televizi, protože stvořila monstrum. (skol)

29.1.13 v 21:36:
SPORT: Izraelský reprezentant Jitschak Šlomo dojel v Kitzbühelu druhý v superobřím šalomu mužů. Gratulujeme! (skol)

25.1.13 v 17:08:
Hlasy doposud volících prominentních osobností jsou neplatné. Po lapsu Karla Schwarzenberga, který vhodil do urny svůj občanský průkaz a obálkou se pokusil o půl hodiny později platit v restauraci v nedaleké Sýkořici v domnění, že jde o stravenku, se lépe nevedlo ani jiným. Václav Klaus přes proklamovanou podporu Zemanovi nakonec neodolal a vhodil lístek s vlastním jménem a věnováním. Miloš Zeman sice vhodil lístek v platné obálce a dokonce s vlastním jménem, doplnil ho však několika tak povedenými bonmoty, že došlo k samovznícení volební urny. Událost budeme dále sledovat z bezpečného povzdálí. (skol)

9.1.13 v 18:36:
Amnestovaný Jindřich Q. opilý nenávistnou mediální kampaní proti hlavě státu se pokusil dnes v dopoledních hodinách provést atentát na Václava Klause. Povedlo se mu dokonce přiblížit do těsné blízkosti prezidenta, v osudný okamžik se mu ovšem zasekla spoušť u bublifuku. Připravujeme podrobnosti. (skol)

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V Americe nenastal nový rok

Zdroj: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bratislava_New_Year_Fireworks.jpg
publikováno 1.1.2010, 11:56
Dnes kolem čtvrté hodiny ranní středoevropského času nedošlo ze zatím nezjištěných příčin na východním pobřeží Spojených států k příchodu nového roku. Situace se následně opakovala i v dalších časových pásmech USA. Prezident Obama v mimořádném projevu vyjádřil naději, jeho kritikové ovšem podtrhují, že nezmínil, čeho se týká. Mluvčí Pentagonu nevyloučil teroristický útok a sdělil, že pro nový nejvyšší stupeň ohrožení se v současnosti hledá ve spektru ta nejstrašidelnější barva.

Tisíce nezaměstnaných v ulicích New Yorku a dalších velkých měst marně očekávali rok 2010 až do sedmé hodiny ráno, kdy se začali poklidně a smutně rozcházet do svých domovů, především pod Brooklynský most. Zatímco v ostatních částech světa se měnil kalendář, v Americe si zatím musejí stále ponechat ten starý, splátkový.

Podle prvních komentářů se zdá, že náskok, který měly USA před zbytkem světa, vzal definitivně za své a naopak Spojené státy jsou nyní například za Čínou již minimálně o den pozadu. Ekonomové vyjadřují obavu, že schodek amerického rozpočtu za rok 2009 může tímto protahováním nabýt daleko větší výše, než se obávali i ti největší optimisté. Loňský rok by se mohl stát podle Wall Street Journal tím nejdelším fiskálním rokem v historii, čili takřka až rokem fiaskálním.

Zatímco astrofyzikové považují celou záležitost za nemožnou, biologové ji identifikují jako kachnu a klimatologové označují za příčinu časových poruch tání ledovců v Antarktidě, několik skeptiků v čele s profesorem Grygarem nebralo novinářům vůbec telefony.

Přestože bezpečnostní experti považují nyní hodnocení zastavení času za doslova předčasné, od činu se již distancovala Al Kaida. A to přesto, že americké výhrůžky o útoku na Jemen někdy začátkem roku 2010 k hromadnému ataku na yankeeské chronometry doslova sváděly. Nepotvrdily se ani spekulace britského deníku Sun o tom, že rok 2010 zdržel v Elysejském paláci prezident Sarkozi, když se s ním chtěl vyfotit a ochranka nemohla najít dost vysokou stoličku pod nohy. Podle posledních zpráv Nový rok úspěšně dorazil na Bahamy, kde si v klidu přiťukl s Viktorem Koženým a nalil si ještě jednu. Dál už ho ovšem nikdo neviděl, je tudíž možné, že pirát z Čech se pokusil vzít 2010 jako rukojmí při vyjednávání o vydání do rukou americké justice.

V tomto případě by ovšem bylo možné se obámat, zda skutečně změna letopočtu bude pro Ameriku tou „Change, we can believe in".

PF 2010. Análně.cz
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